This seems to be a repetitive lesson for me!
I am continuously presented with situations where I am to trust and listen to my intuition the first time.
But what seems to happen is that I always find myself giving the wrong people the benefit of the doubt – because my “flaw” is that I always choose to see the BEST in people.
I see their soul and not their actions
Sometimes this does feel like a curse.
Many times, I have been presented with harsh lessons for not listening to my gut!
I had a situation arise in my life yesterday where I didn’t follow my gut.
Well really, I wanted it to be true
Even though I knew it was TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
this time around,
when the alarms bells were ringing loudly
Luckily, I didn’t get myself into a situation that could have cost me.
I have found myself going through a process a lot like grieving:
DENIAL – at the first stage, although a lot of strange thoughts and visions of past situations that I had not thought of for a long time were coming up, THEN finally I had to accept it for what it was…
so then came…
ANGER – with myself primarily for allowing myself to believe the unbelievable…then today, anger with the perpetrators
followed closely by
BARGAINING – “If only I had investigated this before!” “If only I had taken more time to ask questions!” If only I had listened to my gut – who was telling me that this was much like another situation I instantly recognised as TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
which brought me to feelings of
DEPRESSION – feeling stupid, not good enough, victimized, sad, lonely, hopeless: feeling like everything in my life never works out the way that I want it to – these are feelings that I allowed myself to sit with and flow through my body, acknowledging them, letting it out and finding myself being supported by my family
and then finally
ACCEPTANCE – not of the situation, but of the learning that has arisen from this situation…talking about it and expressing myself through other means such as writing, reading, creating – helped the light to shine through so that I don’t remain in the darkness/negativity of the situation….
therefore bringing me to
GRATITUDE – I have yet to go through the forgiveness process but finding the little things that I can be grateful for – forgiveness is opening its doors to shine its light upon me.
Isn’t it amazing when messages are delivered to you in your own writing?
Gotta love it <3
I am grateful for this outlet to soothe my mind and my soul <3