The journey so far…..

It has been a 7 days since I  put up a post here, especially haven’t been keeping up my updates for my meditation progress but I will do that in another post.

Meanwhile, I just wanted to update and post where it is I am at, at the moment.

Apart from the energy changes..well, that is a massive part of it, there have been changes going on in my life and I am glad that meditation has been helping me to stay focused and listening to my heart more than if I didn’t.

So the last 7 days, I have felt like I just needed the time to go within, listen and just be with me(when I can between kids and home life). Through that I have found avenues to help me bring out what has been revealed to me in the gap. I have, at this point in time, found that space that I see my potential and see what I am really here for and I am feeling like I am ready to put all this into action soon.

Before all that can happen…at the moment, Melodie Beattie’s words in Choices & Language of Letting Go are inspiring me and helping me to move on from where I have arrived and hopefully take it all with me to the next stage. I love her words and how she writes. For me, it’s so raw because she didn’t start all these writings to look for fame, only to share what has helped her throughout traumatic times in her life. I admire that and respect it immensely, therefore at the moment, she is my coach :)  Language of Letting Go is a daily meditation book, where you are encouraged to write your thoughts in a journal after reading the  words to meditate over. I started this journal only today, as these two books only arrived in the mail a couple of days ago. I hope to share more of my reflections from these here also as time allows.

One of her books that has helped me so much since the beginning of this year – which incidentally I found as a gift for a cousin in Mauritius, but then ended up buying a copy for myself is Make Miracles Forty Days – the concept in this book is amazing. I highly highly recommend buying it and following the exercise for 40 days. Basically, it is writing in a gratitude journal daily but not writing only what is amazing and wonderful, but writing everything and anything that comes to mind, after the words of: ” Today I am grateful that.” I have not looked back ever since I started that exercise – actually have not completed the book to the end but as the book states, once you begin to have this as part of your life – it becomes what helps you get through your day, everyday. It suggests that you write 10 things in your journal as soon as you wake up. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work for me, so I do it as soon as I put my daughter to bed. My goal everyday is to write one full A4 page of things that I am grateful for. The key is to not over think it and simply write what comes to mind. It’s very much unlike other Gratitude journals I have ever had. It helps you to face all aspects of yourself and your life, not just looking at the good but balancing the good and the bad – seeing that there is a gift in every situation! I just love it and I am so glad that I “stumbled” across it :)

So I think I have ended up writing more than I anticipated, but I am feeling good about this now as I wanted to write about these books that are helping me for a while now.

Thanks for reading and I hope that your journey is as full of wonderful self discoveries NOW.


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Day 4: Freedom from old tapes

21 day Chopra CenterMeditation

Day 4: Friday 20th of July – Freedom from old tapes

Centering Thought for Today: “I am loved, lovable and loving.”

“You have the capacity to change the plotline of your life, even if you’ve been acting from the same script since before you can remember.”  —David Simon

Be the love that you were created to be!

How appropriate that today’s meditation was about this…being one of the many thoughts that I have been pondering over the last week.

And I do have that power. I see that more and more everyday. Some of it is more challenging than others. I keep hearing, “In order to see massive change, you  need to be uncomfortable!” That actually scares me a little, but I know it’s true. Decisions and steps that are made all have consequences or create that ripple in the water that doesn’t just affect myself, but also those in my environment. The bigger picture is actually easier for me to see than the smaller picture. Why? Because I am still stuck. There are still things that need to be changed and some I am not changing and holding me back.

The old tapes do form part of this.

I love the way meditation makes me feel and where it helps me to go! And how amazing to do it after a Zumba workout..feeling very light indeed :) And loving being able to extract many of these thoughts and share them here to help me to reflect more deeply. Something to look back on.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to share.




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Change is more than ever, inevitable

I have things going round and round and round in my head at the moment, so I am not entirely sure that there’s a theme to this entry or how much sense it will make to anyone else out there who reads it…but this is an attempt to empty my mind – whilst I am waiting for my daughter to fall asleep and I can go and bash out some more thoughts with a workout and meditation to be more centered.

Funny, how you may plan out your day a specific way because that’s the way that you’ve been doing it for a while and then there are days like today, where I am seeing myself do things backwards.

Lately, what has become most prominent for me is watching how others are reacting to the energy changes that are happening. I have my way of coping with what is happening. Not everyone believes in what I do, so that they can open their mind, hearts and soul to the possibility of more than what is physically happening. And even those that have the same beliefs, have decided that they would like to be in their body and go through the pain right now. That’s fine. There’s no right or wrong. Everyone deals in a different way. I am merely making the observation. And I understand those who have decided to go through the pain too..because I have been there. But with all that I have learnt, all that I read, all that I know and feel inside – I find that I can’t sit in that place for very long. Soon as I do, I can feel myself being dragged under the covers and being suffocated. I would rather be dead than stay there at the moment. Too many positive things on the horizon…remembering that: “This too shall pass!!”

One example, yesterday I got back to exercise after 6 days of no exercise. During those 6 days, I ate everything that I shouldn’t – mainly sugar loaded foods. I justified the reasons for doing it and I guess this is my form of dealing with the energy changes. Whilst doing the workout, I could feel the difference of eating those foods and how much it affects my body when I workout. I was  a lot less agile than I have been for many weeks of watching my food intake of more fresh fruits & vegies and no processed foods.  As I was working out, the millions of thoughts were crossing my mind, as it usually does – and I thought, maybe this is the reason why I had to do that for the last 5 days(it wasn’t an overload but enough)…to remind myself how far I have come and to show my body once again, how much these processed, refined sugar foods have on my body! Even having that thought just there showed me how far I have come. There was a time where I would workout, and the thoughts that were running through my mind were completely negative..and a lot of self-emotional bashing – which left me feeling totally exhausted after the workout instead of better!

The things that I did to contribute toward that change were: yoga, meditation, affirmations, gratitude journal and reading inspiring quotes and articles EVERYDAY.

I guess this entry is about change…because as much as we try to find comfort in the things that we once did or the things we once ate or the people we hung out with or the energies that we were once attracted to … these are basically only temporary feelings that we get out of it – most definitely like taking drugs. Because they only last so long, it doesn’t go away, it’s just there lurking in the background, waiting for you to face it. I am finding that it may be easy for me to make the decision of change in myself but if you’re in a relationship where your partner doesn’t see things exactly the same way that  you do – or able to recognise these things in themselves at the moment – then it can make it a mightily massive challenge!

Everyday is a learning to rediscover our true selves. It’s a never ending process! Just when we think that we have the answer and believe this is the one to run with..another challenge is thrown at you! That’s the universe telling you ..”You’re doing great, but you can be so much greater – here’s another one for you to deal with!” lol…sometimes you gotta laugh at yourself :)

One thing that I can say for sure – even though there may be mistakes that I may still be repeating – and I am sure there are reasons for that – some I know, some I am still yet to uncover – I can see how much I am growing, how far I have come and how far I can go…and this is only a little snippet! There’s so much more.

Another thought that was running through my mind last night as I hung up the washing…that sometimes I feel like I do nothing during the day..I sit on this computer – I contribute to my pages, I read, I blog between other responsibilities of being a mother and wife – but again, I see that these small steps are towards bigger steps that I wish to make. It’s a long time coming and I have talked about it for a long time and I could rush it and just jump into it all – but I always have a sense of it not quite being the time because my mindset needs to be somewhere that it’s building up to be right now. I read somewhere today that you need to do it whilst the fear is there or before you change your mind – to a degree, I agree with that but I also can’t help but believe that I need to be better prepared. Not so much in the physical sense, but in my mind, my heart and my soul…these three need to align and I am feeling that is close to happening.

Thank you again for reading and remember to follow what your heart tells you – take away what you need from what you read for yourself and leave the rest behind :)

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis

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Day 1-3 Meditation reflections

During meditation today, I felt the need to post my daily experiences of the 21 day Chopra CenterMeditation here:

Day 1: Tuesday 17th of July – Meditation, Life’s most powerful tool

Centering Thought for Today: “I am ready to view my life through the eyes of love.”

Day 1 for me was actually on Tuesday night – because of the time difference between Australia and US, I actually don’t receive the daily meditations until night time…so Day 1 being Monday, but received it late that evening. With all the nursing going on, I didn’t get to start my commitment that particular day.

Tuesday night, after visiting my dentist, relaxing in bed and waiting for feeling on the right side of my face to come back, was when I was able to begin.

It was such a lovely experience. It’s basically like riding a bike, meditating. Once you’ve done it for a while, no matter how long it’s been…it’s like my being knew what it was missing and just slipped into it so easily – like a comfortable dressing gown or pjs. My mind just relaxed instantly and I found that I was able to keep most of the thoughts that have been bombarding me, away and relax…enjoying the moment of serenity.

Oh I missed thee.

And the bonus was that I did not fall asleep(not this time anyway.hehe)

Day 2: Wednesday 18th of July – Freedom from the past

Centering Thought for Today: “The past is over; I live blissfully loving in the present.”

After a hard night of being up with my daughter, who hasn’t been very well with the flu…this was so welcome as part of my morning ritual once I put her to bed after 10am.

But because I was so tired from the night of broken sleep, I did fall asleep through today’s meditation. I did still feel relaxed afterwards though. I believe that my sub-conscious was still taking it all in as my body was resting.

After my work out for Day 3, I decided to go through Day 2 meditation again prior to going on to Day 3, which also helps me to catch up a little. You can never do too much meditating. Even though there are other things I could have been doing – today this was my priority. I am committed to making this part of my daily ritual once again.

There are some teachings before hand to reflect on for the day’s theme – which this one was letting go of the past – helping you to set the intention for the meditation. I found this to be exactly what my soul needed today. Sometimes, there are reasons why things don’t work out the way we expect. Today was the right day for me to have been awake, hearing these teachings. There are so many things I need to let go around me, about me and about others in my environment. I really felt a sense of peace after this session…so much of a relief and so much lighter.

I have really missed meditating…why did I stop? The benefits are so magnificent!


Day 3: Thursday 19th of July – Freedom to forgive

Centering Thought for Today: “I forgive; I release; I let go of anything and anyone that keeps me from my highest good.”

Every heart has the power to forgive. ~David Simon

The quote above stuck out the most for me in the teachings before today’s official meditation. That if we can have the capacity to forgive anyone or anything, that which we believe we can’t forgive, can also be forgiven. Now,  that is so powerful to me. Isn’t it amazing how, I have probably heard this before, but today – this has struck me like lightning. My forgiveness path on this journey is not so much about others, although there are a couple of people that came to mind but mostly, self-forgiveness. Giving myself the love that I need to go on to the next step that I want to take in my life. Realising through all that I have been experiencing, that this is the step that is required right now – SELF-FORGIVENESS! For all that I seen as being unforgivable.

Throughout this particular meditation, I saw a triangular light shooting from my crown chakra, with white light beaming down. My intention, was releasing unforgiveness for me and anyone else and bringing in compassion and love. Again, such a massive load lifted from my being!!

This is obviously not a quick fix, and doesn’t mean that I am suddenly healed through that process, because it is just that, a process, it’s a start!!

I thank you for allowing me to share with you and hope that it does help you in some ways. Remembering that this is my experience, bring your being to this experience and have your own epiphanies, it’s not too late, get on it:

21 day Chopra CenterMeditation




“Life is too short to carry the burden of a heavy heart. It does not serve you or anyone else. Free yourself through the power of forgiveness and compassion.” – David Simon



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Finding perfection, through imperfections…

Been almost a week since I wrote a post in here.

Not that I haven’t thought about it…but been very busy with a sick household and making sure to keep myself as healthy as possible.

There’s a lot going energetically at the moment. I don’t know about everyone else, but I am finding myself asking a lot of questions. Questioning things that I have believed and really breaking it down and making sure that this is still where I want to be, where I want to go. Basically like taking an inventory. I am finding myself more and more in a reflective mode than a doing mode lately and I am finding that to be a little frustrating at times but learning to have myself embrace it. I won’t say it’s easy but all I can say is thank goodness for the 21 day Chopra Center meditation, helping me to be more centered and be more in line with my back to basics goal.

On the weekend, I was having a little heart to heart with my sister over a very late breakfast, after a very late night out – one of the questions that she asked me was whether I knew what my life purpose was. My answer to that was, that it’s still a process for me – something that I am discovering everyday. And it is, whilst using different processes, different sources, the general meaning of life through my beliefs are being uncovered – which is also a form of helping me to break down exactly what it is that I wish to leave here as my mark on the world in this life.

At the same time, there are so many things that play into that purpose – it’s not just what difference I can make out there, but the difference that I am making in my children’s lives as well. The legacy that I pass on to them through what I teach them. That’s what I have been observing myself with the most the past couple of weeks and I have to say that I am not completely happy with what I am seeing. I know that they love me no matter what but I am noticing things that I know I don’t want to keep demonstrating to them. I am also seeing that the example that I can be is to also show them that a person can change themselves and be more, once they recognise it. I feel that the example I can be for my children is not only through perfection, it’s actually also through imperfections and showing them how we are able to rise above anything. That nothing is impossible.


Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.
Saint Augustine

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Yesterday was a day full of insights and blogging about them as they came forth.

Today, I feel I am back in the reflective stage. Taking a step back and looking at things and looking to gain better perspective on many aspects in my life.

I am reading something at the moment which is basically bringing many contradictions to what I have led myself to believe in the past 10 years. Suffice to say, that it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. The fact of the matter is that it is from another person’s perspective, how they perceived the information they received and what they did to pursue that experience. Even though I know where I am in my soul and in my spirit, I think it’s healthy to question many ways that I have seen things. I believe that there are reasons that I had to perceive things the way I did in the past and this information has obviously come my way to help me be more knowledgeable.

What it’s really helping me to look at is human behaviour. How far we can actually take things. How powerful our minds really can be.

There are many aspects of life that are reflected in this book(which I unfortunately can’t mention here due to copyright restrictions). I feel that it not only shows how much impact smaller communities can have on us but also if you look at things in the grander scheme of things – it shows me that this is happening to us daily…that we are all under some kind of control because we allow ourselves to be.

Why do we do this?

Is it because we need to feel we belong somewhere?

Is it because we need to be defined by something that is classified normal?

These are the types of questions that are coming up for me at the moment. As interesting as reading it is, I feel like I need to come up for air every now and then just to regroup with inner being and remember that this is somebody else’s experience and thoughts, not mine.

I am the type of person that can get completely caught up in a movie, a show or a book – I can feel all the emotions that come up. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse. I am sure there are many who are the same as me out there. It’s one of the reasons I wasn’t able to watch horror movies for a long time!  Although, during my detox time, I had decided to face my fears and start watching them again and I feel that I am improving with detaching myself. I have been feeling like I need to improve myself in this area as my youngest son seems to have taken after me, so I feel like I need to lead by example to help him get through it.

I don’t really know where this post is going…it’s purely an avenue for me to release for today.

Thanks for reading :)

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The answer is within

Throughout the last few years and especially in the last few weeks, this has been more and more apparent to me.

Lately, I have found that I have been attracting people that have been affirming my true self more and more. And that to me, is a gift.  A blessing. As this shows me that I have moved leaps and bounds within myself. That my self value has come a long way.

I have chosen to see things from a higher light, in light of experiences that have occurred in my life in the last few weeks. All which have been amazing and ended as challenging, as all good things need to come to an end. There’s always a reason why this needs to happen..and this is the reason. The reflections. The realisations. The truths.

My truth has been discovered throughout these challenges though. The truth is that what has been happening has only showed me that  I was in the wrong place. The thing is that I knew that I was in the wrong place. But I went with it usual, to please other people and then realising that this is not what I am meant to be focusing on right now at this point in my life. Although, I am glad that it all happened because, it has opened other doors that needed to be opened. Why do I keep making sure to please others before myself? Fear is the only answer that I can come up with. Fear of what change can bring. Because that change could take away everything that I have now.

In a relationship, it can be challenging to listen to yourself – because the other person always think that they know what’s best for you. All that is happening is reflecting each your issue/challenges on the other person. The challenge is also when you are aware of this and the other person is not. Or simply that the other person would like to ignore their true calling and keep doing what they know is not what they should be doing. This is what ends up as us looking outside ourselves instead of within.

The more I interact with others and make new friendships, and even with old friendships that have been evolving – the more I see how important it is to stop and look within. I have realised that even sitting down at this computer looking for inspirations  or quotes is a form of looking outside of myself instead of within. Meditation is what helps us to look within. It doesn’t have to be in an OM state, or on top of a mountain. It can simply be, sitting down and writing in your journal, reflecting or being grateful, or song writing, or writing music..anything that pours out your own creativity and amazingness. Not saying that there is anything wrong with looking for inspiration – it’s been my motto for the past 10 years and will continue to be part of my life – but this time it will be what keeps me going and not what drives me – as it has been.

These are the answers I have been receiving within for myself in the last few weeks and finally, I am putting what I can into action..pouring it all out today as much as possible, whatever’s coming is being printed.

Again, these are my reflections – if you are reading this, remember to only take what resonates for you.

Your truth is within you and don’t let anyone tell you differently – unless what you believe is truth is actually destroying you.

Thank you again for allowing me to share.



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A few weeks ago, I  posted about going back to basics:

But what I didn’t anticipate was how much of a challenge that was going to be!

Throughout the aim of doing this, I think it’s only this week that I have found myself going back to at least 70% of that list I drew up. Instead of beating myself up over it, when I sit here and reflect – a lot of things have been happening in the last few weeks – throughout my family life, my relationships and so on. So many experiences and learnings obviously had to happen before I could be here. Doing what I said I would do. 

Isn’t it amazing the things that end up motivating you to be where you want to be, are not the things that you expect?

One of the main things I have been wanting to do is to share whatever is on my mind. To release these things so that I don’t get all cluttered! Which explains how I got to where I was over the weekend and worse yet, on Monday!

The most important realisation that I have come to over the last couple of weeks is that I have enough in me to share with others. I have been an advocate for what everyone else would like to share – which I totally love – but I also have so much inside of me that needs to come out and be shared with the world…

It was obvious that I needed to do this when Facebook pages that I regularly shared or visited were just not coming upon my feed. I didn’t act on it straight away. I had the passing thought but I guess there’s still been a degree of fear attached to doing this But finally, I feel today that I have let go of that fear, enough to allow me to be writing my third blog for today and feeling so much lighter that I am sharing!!!

So again, thank you for allowing me to share…insights are coming through and will be shared

Just please remember that I am sharing from my experiences and my reflections – only take what is truth for you or what helps you to find YOUR truth! It’s the ultimate lesson that I have learnt so far and the most important lesson I believe.


It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are,without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events,by which the path to success may be recognized.
- I Ching

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Massive levels of emotions

Emotions can really mess with your head if you allow them to get the better of you!

With all the major shifts in energies happening at the moment, I feel like I have experienced the highest level of many emotions this week.

On Monday, I was completely emotional and irrational – I allowed it all to consume me. But for all good reason. I usually would not allow it to take control of me but this time I felt like I needed to. It was a very strong feeling. I felt like I needed to be in the midst of the chaos so that I could come out with massive clarity on the other side. I think that this is worked because here I am, doing what I was suppose to be doing weeks ago. I experienced, anger, sadness, loneliness, joy, happiness, love, hate, craziness, madness, violence..and probably more, all in one day! That is a lot to take and I am surprised actually that I came out on the other side.

By Tuesday, I was so much calmer. I feel that it is because by Monday night, although I could’ve let it completely continue to consume me..I made a decision to channel the energy that I built up somewhere else. I started to use it for some research that I had been wanting to do for a while. Things that I have probably been to afraid to face before and it has helped me to not be so closed up to more learning. Yes it happens to us all. We all get on a path and we think that we know everything there is to know because it feels right and when there’s a possibility that it is not completely how we thought, we plead ignorance. But there is only so long that we can do this. Tuesday was a much calmer day. I was able to write in my gratitude journal on both these day, and saw the level of emotions that were running on Monday and the difference on Tuesday’s entry.

Today I am feeling pulled in two directions. I think obligations that I have placed on myself more so than the emotions. The main obligation is exercising. My head says that’s what I should be doing today but my body and my spirit says, to take some time out again and channel these emotions elsewhere. So here I am, doing  just that!

I am loving being able to let this out! Thank you again for allowing me to rant :)

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Where I have been…

It’s been a while again since I blogged here.

I honestly just haven’t had the time to just sit there and write, especially during school time with all after school activities and what not – the only thing that I could get myself to do in the last 4 weeks, is post and share on Facebook page.

Meanwhile, today is a quieter day during the school holidays. Boys have gone out with their Dad and my little girl is having a long nap. Instead of working out today, I felt that I needed to channel my energies somewhere else and writing on my two blogs seemed like the best thing to do for myself today. My body does need a rest and this is the way that I am looking after myself today :)

I just wanted to put up an update as to how I went on my 30day challenge that I was on a couple of weeks ago now.

Throughout the whole time, I think I exchanged 1 kg in the first week and that was it. The rest of the time, I stayed the same.

In the end, the whole thing was a maintenance program for me. Which you know what , I am happy about.

I am glad that I was able to stay at the size/weight/fitness that I had worked on for 4 weeks prior to that challenge and maintained it and this time with food. SO I am not at all surprised that I didn’t lose any weight because my body went through so many changes for the 4 weeks fast/detox that I think it was glad to just be cruising along with some healthy eating  and everyday workouts!

I feel that my fitness level has definitely increased also. Finding that I do burpees and mountain climbers with so much more ease than I did before. I use to hate them and not look forward to them at all. But now, I just do them! And whilst doing it, not hanging out for them to finish soon, but noticing how easily I can do them, how much more limber I have become! It’s a great feeling. Jillian, Jeanette and Billy really kick my ass with these and I have been stepping it up every week with what I can do and that is what has been surprising me the most. The workouts that I thought were so long and difficult before, are no longer! YAY for me :)

The other great news that I wanted to share here also was that I went shopping with my sister and nieces on the weekend to look for a dress for my niece’s 18th birthday, which is next month. For the whole 3-4 hours, I didn’t try on anything(unlike my sister who tried on at least one thing in every shop lol)..well basically because nothing caught my eye or completely attracted me. Except for one black dress, which was @ Forever new(DFO), which I kept looking at but the largest size they had was a 10!! I was discouraged by that, thinking a 10 would not fit me, I am sure. Anyway, to cut a long story short – after a few more shops of nothing, we went back to Forever new as my sis and niece had a couple of potential buys there. This time I thought, what the heck, I will just try on the dress and see what happens. One of the reasons, I didn’t want to try it on was because it’s the time of my monthly visitor, so I am bloated and also I had a lot clothes on to take off(it was a very cold day). Well, suffice to say, that I was pleasantly surprised. The dress fit and I like how I looked in it! Therefore, it is the dress I will wear for my niece’s party. The whole theme is meant to be Rubik’s cube colours, but I figure that there is black on the cube and thought I can dress it up with some red or blue shoes and jewellery anyway!! So I am excited.

Now I just have to ensure that I maintain my health until the 18th of August and exchange a couple of kilos! My main aim, is to look toned – which has been my aim throughout the challenge and possibly why there were no reflections on the scale – so again, so long as it fits and I feel fine. I am happy!!!Very much looking forward to it but no so much the speech bit as I am her GodMother…hehe

I think that’s all I have to share for now..and I do hope to share more. I just wish I had this kind of time all the time and that I always feel like writing like this!

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To know is not to know!!!!

I  have decided to post whatever is on my mind – the promise I made to myself a few weeks ago but got myself so caught up in my ego, that I forgot about my true self. 

I keep finding how easy it is to become so unbalanced!

There is one thing that I feel I have to let out and that is with my facebook page:

I post things that inspire me each day. 

Quotes that allow me to get through my day.

Inspirations that allow me to improve myself each day

I don’t post these to tell people what they should do with their lives, I share what helps me!

I know that I have shared this before but I feel it’s something that I need to reiterate every now and then.

I am always learning and continuously healing.

Anybody that tells you that they are fully healed and know all they need to know, don’t know anything.

Whenever I come across people who say that they know everything that there is to know…that all they know is what is, I know they don’t know anything. Because once you make that statement, once you allow the ego makes that decision for you, you close the door to any further learning. Any more expanding of your spirit, you mind and your soul.

Everyday is a learning and re-discovery of ourselves. It’s a never ending journey.

Your journey is yours and mine is mine – there may be things that you have more expert knowledge on that I do – which I totally always respect – but it doesn’t make it the answer to everything. Our minds and spirits must always be open to receiving.

Thanks for allowing me to rant.

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