The lows of plateau during Weeks 18-20

It has been 3 weeks since I had an entry here.

It may seem that I seem to only have entries when I have good news of some kind of exchange or what not – the thing is that in the last 3 weeks, I have to admit that my attitude was at its utmost undesirable! I personally did not feel like I had anything to offer in the state that I was in except for negative energies & thoughts. There are many personal issues – some at a deep soul level and many just at an ego level – that I’ve had to deal with and still having to deal with but I am seeing more and more that these situations – whether positive or negative – are presenting themselves to show me how far I’ve come. I know that these  blogs are designed for me to release but I also have been feeling like somewhat of a fraud! All will be revealed as I write this blog….Even as I am writing this, I am unsure what will emerge as I type – this page has been opened for 2 days with not much written…

Week 18-19 I saw nothing – no change on the scale – although I was exercising everyday but I also had many busy social w/ends with many drinks and less than desirable food choices. Pretty much since the Brian McKnight concert night, things have gone on a downward spiral! Clearly, every change that has not occurred is because of me. I have been my worse enemy for sure! The weekend alcohol sessions have definitely not helped, not that I wasn’t drinking along this journey but this was a weekend where it was more than I had been drinking for the last few months. Granted, I had a fabulous time, each and every weekend. And there could have been no regrets so long as I had made the right food choices during the recovery period. Mostly they were good, but each weekend I saw the pattern that they were getting worse!

During this time, I also began to lapse in tracking my foods…I don’t know what happened – after having been so consistent, something in me just switched & I decided that I didn’t want to do it anymore! At the same time, it was niggling at the back of my mind that I really can’t afford the monthly payment to WW anymore. So things need to change – and the change is mainly that I am gonna need to do this on my own!  Most days, I have been fine. Sure, there are still the few choices that can be questioned but at the same time, the points calculator in my head is still automatically churning and doing its best to make an honest WWer out of me!

Week 20 An exchange of 200g!!!! I tell ya, I have never been so happy since being on this journey to see this exchange…even though it is small, it’s a movement from where I was for 2 weeks!! I missed measurements so will do this next week..

So my exchange to date = 18.2kgs exactly

I have 1.8kgs to get to halfway and 2kgs to 10% of my current body weight & to be in the 70′s!!!

Today – being Monday 25th of July – I have taken charge again! I have gone into  http://community.weightwatchers.com.au/Challenges/ChallengeDiscussion.aspx?sid=1134584&tid=1007187

and reset my goals! I have decided to embark on my soup detox plan for this week to help get me back on track – but I will say that I am not doing it in the strictest sense as I am nearing that TOM YET AGAIN…so I need to allow the times that I will need to curb those cravings so that it doesn’t become bingeing sessions!

I have joined Aimee’s 6 weeks till Spring challenge:

http://community.weightwatchers.com.au/Challenges/ChallengePage.aspx?sid=1160633

This got me excited because I thought – wow, spring is just around the corner! I will be ecstatic to be travelling my way from the higher scale of the  70’s to the lower during Spring time – this will ensure that my bigger goal by then end of the year is met!

In all the time that I haven’t been blogging, I have been keeping up with my twitter/facebook page & group – where upon my daily search for inspiration & motivation – I share this with everyone – Love for you to join me there as it is filled with inspiration!

http://twitter.com/#!/passied

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Angel-Spice/121056004620105

(Both this and the Twitter have motivational & inspirational quotes, videos, etc, to help lift your spirits & your butt off that chair!!)

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/groups/allseeingsoul (This is my spiritual group – sharing all things spiritual or soul level)

These are what have kept me sane in the last 3 weeks. It was a lot more therapeutic for me to read and share than to write during this time. I just felt like I mentioned above, that I had nothing to offer – so I searched for what others have to offer and share that with people so they can enlightened and uplifted by the words, just as I have been by them.

My exercise has also been oddly different as I have been only working out over the course of 4-5 days! I have to admit that they are hardcore days but I am happy to have those hard core days and then have 2-3 days break to catch up with lots of other things that I should be doing, rather than constantly worrying or calculating today’s workout in my head. It can get really noisy when that is going on in my head!

One of the blogs that I read – had this at the end of it(Thanks Laynah) and basically just helped me to lift out of this rut I have allowed to swallow me up:

*~* Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up *~*   Thomas Alva Edison

Well because I am getting quite sleepy(another thing I have been doing alot of lately, sleep!!!), I best get into my gratitude list for the last 3 weeks:

  • Quotes
  • Reading & sharing inspiring stories on my page/groups
  • Listening to my body(in terms of exercise)
  • Having support
  • Reading other people’s blogs to help me stay above water during times of almost drowning
  • Finally breaking out of the plateau
  • Making steps towards one of my big goals by then end of the year(more on that when things are a bit more concrete)
  • Having situations present themselves which are helping me to look into myself a lot deeper now(I would rather this happen now whilst on this thinspirational journey, than when I have exchanged it all and the emotional turmoil ends up with me eating my way back where I am leaving behind!)
I wish to sign off with these 2 short movies that I wish to share with you all – it’s really amazing how much these help to change your mindset when you’re coming out from where I have been:
&

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Surprise exchange at end of Week 17

 

Ok, I thought I better write a blog about this – better late than never.

So I ended up with an exchange of 800g on Thursday 30th of June – much to my surprise!

So my exchange to date = 18kgs exactly

I have 2kgs to get to halfway and 3kgs to 10% of my current body weight & to be in the 70’s!!!

I have to say that this may catch up with me this week as I have been eating like there’s no tomorrow! TOM is absolutely shocking this month – it’s like thrown ALL my willpower out the window, the doors and flushed the rest down the toilets!!

Been a weird week as I have also had a stomach virus which my son so nicely brought home to share with me!

But the whole experience has made me realise how lost I am without a goal or something to aim for. I know that I have my overall massive goal, but finding that small interval goals are so important for me to stay on track and motivated. And needing to make sure that I remind myself why I am doing this so much more at the moment. Anyone else finding this? We are now in the middle of winter, maybe this is my body finally catching up with the season, WHO BLOODY KNOWS! I have finally dedicated some of my time this week to writing my goals, FINALLY – but I will share this in a seperate post. Have to say that it took a lot of energy out of me but it was all worth it in the end – having that clear picture is helping – just that I have a bump in the road at the moment that I just need to get over!

So the scales and I have come to a better understanding. My analog scale says that I am 1 kg lighter than my electronic one, so I always go with the digital one because it allows for the grams…gotta have that! So my exchanges that I end up recording are always very conservative and I am happy with that path.

It’s still been a challenge to get back to healthy eating habits this week but I am getting there – slowly but surely.

At Tuesday’s bootcamp, my trainer told me that she could clearly see that I am exchanging quite fast by looking at me now from the day that I came through the doors, which was about 6 weeks ago now. That was really great to hear! She measured me on Tuesday – so I am glad to have that as record to because you know when you do it yourself it’s not always that accurate…although I do my best to be as accurate as possible.

I went out last Saturday night with my sister for a hen’s night in the city & I wore these size 14 black pants that I’ve had for quite a while but didn’t fit me for about a year(obviously because of pregnancy & weight gain), that night I had to pull them up all night – especially when I was dancing. It was a pain, but at the same time, it brought a smile to my face every time I had to pull them back up :)

I apologise if this post seems really ranty, well that would be because I am feeling sleep creeping in but want to share my other post before bedtime…so will sign this one off with my gratitude list:

  • Listening to my body
  • Having a lot of rest
  • Taking the time out for goal setting
  • Being sooo close to the halfway mark
  • Time with my family
  • Finding inspiration
  • For the course I took 2 weeks ago
  • Blogging (Writing my own & reading others’)
  • Exchanging 800g(even though I did not exercise for 3 days last week)

 

I just saw the following on someone’s status on FB and thought it appropriate to share here – SO VERY powerfully inspiring:

“If you’re not being treated with love and respect, Check your price tag!

Perhaps you have marked yourself down.

It’s you who tell people what you’re worth by what you’ll accept.

Get off the “Clearance Rack”  and get behind the glass where they keep all the valuables.

Bottom line…

Value YOURSELF more and others will TOO!”

 

 

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